I have the world's cleanest pocket change. I know this because I just washed it in sudsy water. Why did I do this? It is not because I am suffering from an episode of anal retentiveness, but because the UberPurse made me do it.
The UberPurse is a gynormous beastie, a chiropractor's dream. It has a FILING COMPARTMENT in it, fer chrissakes. It's the quintessential everything-but-the-kitchen-sink purse. A few weeks ago I grabbed a small, much cuter purse and threw the bare essentials into it (driver's license, debit card, cell phone, lip gloss, brush) and abandoned the UberPurse. It apparently felt neglected, because somehow it got all wet inside. Most of the paper items in it are all mildewed to a good extent, and this will teach me to keep candy in my purse... the Jolly Ranchers and peppermints in the bottom of the purse combined with the unexplained moisture and oozed stickiness all over everything. Note to any male type people: This is one of the reasons
1. Package of sunflower seeds
2. generic Benadryl
3. Extra Jumbo Pill Reminder
4. A lighter (I quit smoking months ago)
5. Kitty treats
6. Crazy In Alabama DVD
7. 15 assorted candies
8. 2 boxes of Tic Tacs
9. Toothbrush
10. Toothpaste
11. Dental floss
12. 2 bottles of clear nail polish
13. 4 pens
14. one pencil
15. my various prescription medications
16. bottle of Tylenol
17. bottle of perfume
18. 3 tubes of colored lipgloss
19. one lipstick
20. Powder
21. Concealer
22. assortment of calling cards and Wal-mart gift cards
23. an uncashed babysitting check (SCORE!!)
24. my multitool
25. various rarely used cards (Petsmart, Kroger, etc.)
26. Old student ID
27. Library card
28. Listerine sample
29. assorted paystubs, receipts, and the prescription for my CPAP, which I really need to get
30. Pocket pack of Kleenex
31. Boxcutter
32. The necklace I got repaired at James Avery a while ago
33. Various feminine hygeine items
34. 2 condoms, I believe from the gay Pride Parade this summer
35. a partridge in a pear tree
This does NOT include the various crap I have accumulated in the purse I've been carrying. I think all four of my brushes have made their way into that purse. As well as my cell phone charger, more receipts.... Excuse me while I go clean out my purse.