UberPurse!
Friday, Nov. 08, 2002

I have the world's cleanest pocket change. I know this because I just washed it in sudsy water. Why did I do this? It is not because I am suffering from an episode of anal retentiveness, but because the UberPurse made me do it.

The UberPurse is a gynormous beastie, a chiropractor's dream. It has a FILING COMPARTMENT in it, fer chrissakes. It's the quintessential everything-but-the-kitchen-sink purse. A few weeks ago I grabbed a small, much cuter purse and threw the bare essentials into it (driver's license, debit card, cell phone, lip gloss, brush) and abandoned the UberPurse. It apparently felt neglected, because somehow it got all wet inside. Most of the paper items in it are all mildewed to a good extent, and this will teach me to keep candy in my purse... the Jolly Ranchers and peppermints in the bottom of the purse combined with the unexplained moisture and oozed stickiness all over everything. Note to any male type people: This is one of the reasons excuses we have to replace purses from time to time. They get messy sometimes. Usually it's a leaky pen or something making the mess... but I have been sorting through the contents and salvaging what I can, and throwing out the rest. I was going to spare you the entire list of the contents of the purse, but it's my damn diary.

1. Package of sunflower seeds

2. generic Benadryl

3. Extra Jumbo Pill Reminder

4. A lighter (I quit smoking months ago)

5. Kitty treats

6. Crazy In Alabama DVD

7. 15 assorted candies

8. 2 boxes of Tic Tacs

9. Toothbrush

10. Toothpaste

11. Dental floss

12. 2 bottles of clear nail polish

13. 4 pens

14. one pencil

15. my various prescription medications

16. bottle of Tylenol

17. bottle of perfume

18. 3 tubes of colored lipgloss

19. one lipstick

20. Powder

21. Concealer

22. assortment of calling cards and Wal-mart gift cards

23. an uncashed babysitting check (SCORE!!)

24. my multitool

25. various rarely used cards (Petsmart, Kroger, etc.)

26. Old student ID

27. Library card

28. Listerine sample

29. assorted paystubs, receipts, and the prescription for my CPAP, which I really need to get

30. Pocket pack of Kleenex

31. Boxcutter

32. The necklace I got repaired at James Avery a while ago

33. Various feminine hygeine items

34. 2 condoms, I believe from the gay Pride Parade this summer

35. a partridge in a pear tree

This does NOT include the various crap I have accumulated in the purse I've been carrying. I think all four of my brushes have made their way into that purse. As well as my cell phone charger, more receipts.... Excuse me while I go clean out my purse.

All content � 2001, 2002, 2003 .:. MightyBruja